Pluto Rant

People seem to whine a lot about Pluto not being a "planet" anymore, since it was entitled a "dwarf planet". Truth be told, I was a little bit miffed myself, but I'm pretty sure I was six at the time.... Maybe twelve. I don't really remember. I do remember wondering what they were going to do with the planet mnemonic, because it used to be "My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas" and now it's... "My Very Energetic Mother Just Served Us Nine." Nine whats? I don't know. I'm not in fifth grade anymore. People don't give you mnemonics for the order of the planets when you're in college.

The point is, it has since been explained to me why Pluto is no longer considered a planet, and it makes a great deal of sense. After all, would you rather memorize eight planets? Or would you rather include Pluto in the definition of a "planet," and then memorize thirteen hundred planets? I'd prefer the eight, thanks.

For the record, I believe the definition of a planet is that it must be large enough to be (roughly) spherical, that is in direct orbit around the sun (so that the moon--which is, coincidentally, larger than Pluto--doesn't count) and large enough to have cleared its own orbit. There are only eight objects in our solar system that fit this definition. If you count Pluto (which is large enough to be roughly spherical, but not large enough to have cleared its orbit of other orbiting bodies), then you also have to include a slew of other orbiting objects... of which Pluto is not, in fact, the largest.

Also, another thing people like to neglect when they're getting butt-hurt over Pluto, is that Pluto is a rock. Pluto does not have feelings. Pluto has no sentience, and is not upset that it is not considered a planet. Why do we get so sentimental about inanimate objects, sometimes?

What are you even doing out there, Pluto?